Wednesday, August 04, 2004

"I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself"

Dear Rachel Blogger,
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You for that post on June 14, 2004. I too have had that dreaded feeling of going into a "skinny" store looking for clothes and fearing the stares. I have never heard of anyone else having the same problem as me. It was always an unspoken rule- don't go where you don't belong. It's all a mental thing, I know, but it has shaped the way I shop for clothes. I would never dare tread into the "wrong" section for fear that an alarm would go off and two fashion policewomen would drag me back to my plus size department kicking and screaming. I used hate clothes shopping when I was a child. When I got too big for clothes around 5th grade, my mother would dress me in larger sizes that always made me look like a kid dressed in old lady clothes (and we're talking 30 and 40 year old women's fashions). I was mortified that I couldn't dress like my friends. I couldn't get the "right" jeans (with the cuffs rolled up like the preppy kids did) and I couldn't get the "right" dresses because I didn't fit into any of them! So much for dances (and in reality, what kind of dance is a middle school dance? It's not like it matters much, but geez, when you're 13 and obese and wanting to desperately fit in... those dances MATTER!) That changed when Fashion Bug came into my life. Finally, FINALLY, I was able to dress like everyone else. I still looked like the Michelin Man but damn-it, I was dressed in the popular looks and I could let my guard down a little. I didn’t stick out as much as before.
Fast-forward to this summer as I hit 50 pounds lost and went to Target to get a pair of workout/yoga pants. I walked away with an extra large pair of pants. HELLO!! Like I haven’t seen a 1x in pants in more than 8 years! (Side note- when I did the Relay for Life last month, I got a 1x tee shirt. Last year I had a 3x! Boo-Ya!) The pants fit and they were in the regular sizes of the store and the check out lady didn’t give me any weird vibes. I’m psyched! This losing weight thing is totally cool.


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