Oh pretty lady on the yahoo email login page...

you mock me with your crest white strips smile and your eyes that hint you might have a message waiting for me!

WELCOME, PUNKIN!

You have 0 unread messages.

And you just have to put that in bold, don't you?!?!

You torment me pretty lady. Why can't I get some mail? Can't you send me some? I would love to hear from you, from anyone! Anyone that is except the guy selling male enhancement pumps and the Nigerian dude who wants to share his sweaty desert money with little old me. You could tell me about your day. How is it, standing all day long and smiling at everyone logging in? Why are your lips so red and shiny? What kind of conditioner do you use because I love the fact that your hair is stick straight perfect. That's awesome! No frizz... Yahoo must be paying you the big bucks to get hair and teeth and skin like that. Are you sure that you're not computer generated? Cause the shadows on your body seem a little fake. In fact, everything about you seems a little fake. Maybe a piece of broccoli in your teeth would be enough to let me know that you are real and not just a fantasy You seem a little Stepford Wife-ish...but hey, if you send me an email, I'll pretend not to notice. Pretty Yahoo email lady, I'm down on my knees, please send me some mail!