Thursday, August 26, 2004

Sometimes an arranged marriage doesn't sound so bad...

It would be a hell of a lot easier to have no choice then to have too many choices to make and feel like I am always making the wrong one. I wish I didn't second guess myself so much.

I don't like this dating thing. It's retarded.

I wished and I wished and I wished for it to happen to me since I was 10 years old and all the other girls in my class (thinner and prettier) were "going out" with boys and writing luv notes and passing them all around. I wished and I wished and I wished for 8 years. And when it finally happened, I have done nothing but make one fucking mistake after another in every single relationship. I don't want to beat myself up so bad and I try to tell myself that each one is a lesson to be learned and that's all that life is, one big lesson to be learned, but damn! Why does it have to be such a struggle? Why Why Why?

Thank god I'm not more popular and prettier and skinnier. I have a feeling that it would be ten times as worse and with maybe double the relationships. I can be thankful for the little things.


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