What The F***?!?!?

So I wanna get a birthday cake for James' 31st birthday because it's his golden one and everyone deserves a great cake on their golden birthday. I still remember my Barbie cake from my 4th birthday. While surfing for ideas I come across something corny like this:



Which would totally work.

Or even this:


But then I see this:

And at first glance I'm thinking, a coffin? For a kid's birthday?
What would you write on top?

"Here's to one more year closer to DEATH Timmy!"
"Life's a bitch and then you die kid!"
"Pretty soon you'll have one foot in the grave. Enjoy it while it lasts!"

What the hell? Then I noticed that the caption for the cake said it was a treasure chest. And I'm soooooooooooo relieved!