Tuesday, August 31, 2004

YOU eat the cake then!

I got James his birthday cake. Nothing too fancy but I think he enjoyed it. Happy 31st Birthday James!

I went to pick up the cake this morning at Winco. This is the discount grocery store. I should remember that they are good for normal grocery shopping but when it comes to something special that I need, they are not the place to go. Case in point: the cake that almost wasn’t.

It was just a normal cake with whipped topping. It just needed to make it all of 30 steps from the bakery counter to the register to my car. The bakery guy didn’t package up the cake in its box. He had me do it. I don’t always do well with folding cardboard boxes but I got it closed without the cake losing too much of the gooey frosting. But then, I had to check out and the cashier on duty had obviously taken stupid pills with breakfast. The baker had stuck the cake sticker on top of the box and the cashier in her infinite wisdom decides to try and tip the cake box to scan the sticker! Oh you stupid bitch. She’s tipping it further and further forward, then backward and I’m watching the cake slide in the box back and forth. I’m reaching for it in slow motion, my mouth in a perfect O shape, a funny cartoon sound coming out of my mouth, steam starts rolling out of my ears. She was going to kill the cake! It was going to go splat! all over the register and I was going to have a royal fit. “Hey, stupid, you have fingers and there are buttons on that machine of yours, just punch the code in! Or, better yet, just open the box and flip the code near your scanner!” I wanted to just scream at her. Is it really THAT hard??? I mean come on!!!

(Insert a stamping foot on ground here and an inevitable temper tantrum by yours truly)

She finally realized that what she was doing was not working and she put my cake down on the register, hard. “Oh, I’ll just do it by hand!” She exclaimed. Oh, finally Ladies and Gentlemen, she gets a clue!!! She then proceeds to open the box and says “My, what a pretty cake”. I had to bite my tongue because I really wanted to say “It was a beautiful cake before you got your hands on it.” God, what an idiot. I got the cake home, in mostly one piece but when I got it out of the box, I could definitely tell that there was some previous smooshing going on. I guess I should just let it be…I mean it’s still going to get eaten no matter what it looks like. But geez, is it really that hard to figure out the right way to ring up a birthday cake!?!?


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