Thursday, December 15, 2005

a list of not so relevant things

1. My new medication is supposed to increase my level of concentration and alertness. So far I’ve suffered from two of the side effects: drowsiness and nausea. I simply can’t concentrate when I feel like puking up all over the place.

2. The Eugene Public Library has hired a bounty hunter to find me and make me pay past due fines. It boggles my mind to think that I racked up that much in overdue fines. I'm going to continue to avoid them and soon go underground so they can't get me or the future first born child that I signed away when I got my library card.

3. There are days when Eugene, Oregon smells like rotting broccoli. I don't know what it is or where the smell comes from but it can be down right disgusting and it's usually overpowering. No one else seems to notice this and I wonder if I'm crazy.

4. But I think I'll take the rotting broccoli over what the algae on the lakes in Madison, Wisconsin smells like all through August. Yuck!

5. I don't like Christmas very much. It always seems like too much work for one little holiday. I'd rather jump into bed and sleep until mid January. That being said, I've been almost exclusively listening to the two radio stations that play non-stop Christmas music. At least once a day I find myself singing along off-key. What is it about 'Away in a Manger' and 'Jingle Bell Rock' that warms my heart so?

6. I seem to be losing the most amount of weight right in the middle of my stomach. I'm not complaining about that. Rather, I find it discouraging that neither my upper chest nor lower stomach and fat ass seem to be shrinking at all. It looks really weird. I'd settle for a few extra pounds (say 170) if that means I can have an hourglass shape.

7. I don't think I'm going to go to hell when I die. I was already there when I survived my teenage years. If there is someone up there, they will certainly have mercy on me.

8. I'm becoming obsessed with unwanted hair and the removal of it. One of my favorite tools I splurged on this year was some fantastic tweezers. If I could only take one object with me to a desert island, I'd take my tweezers. I love them that much.

9. I count on my fingers way more than I should as a senior attending a major public university.

10. I tend to forget certain letters in certain words like the second 'i' in visit or the fact that there are two o's, only one 'p' and the 'r' doesn't come until after the 'p' in cooperation. I guess I didn't watch enough Sesame Street or something.

11. Sometimes I feel guilty for taking a really fluffy ball of yarn and knitting with it. Every once in awhile I come across a skein of soft yarn out there that should just be left alone. It's practically a shame to knit something when it's already reached a perfect state of existence. How could it possibly be improved by being made into a sweater?

12. I don't see a point to praying. It never gets me anywhere. I find more solace in seeking out a real answer, getting off my ass, and doing something with my hands (other than slapping them together and curling my fingers).

13. 9 years ago this week I was in the hospital having an eight pound cyst removed from my abdomen. I lost twenty pounds in three days. I was miserable at Christmas.

14. 8 years ago this week I was having a hernia repaired that resulted from the cyst surgery. Christmas sucked again that year. Talk about déjà vu.

15. Every year I hear the


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Depending on where you are in Eugene,
#3 is either the mulch piles or the Weyerhaeuser plant in Springfield.


11:30 PM  
Blogger Ghost Dog said...

"She's smellin' broc-o-lee...smellin' broc-o-laah...smellin' broc-o-layhaaaay..."

Sorry, every time someone mentions broccoli, I think of that SNL sketch.

Ah, memories of surgery recovery and the holidays. I only have one such story, and that's my shoulder reconstruction not 5 days before Thanksgiving 1996. Were it not for the pain meds, I'd have been miserable.

1:27 AM  
Blogger tabitha jane said...

sometimes when someone smells something that no one else does, they are having a sort of seizure . . .

and i too love to tweeze! i tweeze my leg hairs sometimes . . . :)

10:04 AM  
Blogger Alder said...

1. Sorry you're feeling yucky. Hope your body adjusts to that soon so you can start to enjoy the benefits.

3. Most of Eugene was built on swamp land. I keep hearing on KLCC about the "stagnant air advisory" in the Willamette valley and over in Bend. Always fresh sea breezes here on the coast--yet another reason you should spend as much time here as possible.

5. I got perfectly maudlin over Alabama's "Christmas in Dixie" the other day.

6. Another child of the digital age--never actually seen an hourglass apparently. News flash: They're narrow in the middle and round on the top and the bottom. ;) Have you ever seen those very lascivious goddesses on the sides of Hindu temples in India? Some of us find that look very sexy. It's only these dumb Americans who like stick figures.

7. Pick any of the people who know you best. If it were up to that person to judge you and decide whether you go to hell or heaven, what would they choose? (I'm guessing they'd choose heaven) Rumor has it that God is more loving and forgiving than any of those people, so by that logic, you're in! And if God is less loving and forgiving than us, why should we worship Him?

11-12. Knitting is a very good form of prayer. Prayer is all about understanding that everything in the universe is connected to everything else, knitted together, as it were.

2:35 PM  
Blogger punkindunkin said...

Much of Dane County in Wisconsin was swamp land before Europeans arrived and started filling in the lakes and streams. But it has never ever smelled the way that Eugene does.

I used to live next to the Rexius mulch piles in West Eugene and that is a much more sweet and sickening smell. Same for the wood plants. This broccoli smell is something else entirely. I wish someone else could smell it too.

Tabitha Jane- do you find that it is incredibly satisfying when you pull out a hair from its root versus when you just shave it? I love yanking out the bad, bad hairs.

Yes, Alder, I do happen to know what an hourglass looks like. I just don't think that my body has reached that shape yet. I'm more of an upside down triangle on top, tapering to meet a bigger, right side up triangle on bottom. I have the shoulders of a football player and the butt of a rhino. An hourglass I am not.

Interesting comment about knitting and prayer. Seeing as how I've been knitting my ass off this week, and using lots of recycled yarn from sweaters, I've had this crazy idea of starting a very small craft business of recycled knitted items where 15% of all my profits would go back overseas to the people who slave away to make these GAP and Limited sweaters for pennies a day. Read more at this site:

I'd call my business Knitter's Karma. It just makes sense to end the abuse and get money back into the hands of the people who work so hard for so little just to have some spoiled teenager buy an overpriced sweater and wear it once as if it means absolutely nothing.

Does this sound like a crazy idea?

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neither of those, huh?
Do you work next to a chemistry lab?


4:20 PM  
Blogger punkindunkin said...

Nope. I work near Valley River Center. I always thought it was a smell coming off of the river or something that mixed in with the fog. I do notice it more on foggy nights than any other time.

4:47 PM  

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