Thursday, March 16, 2006

I Don't Feel Like Being Nice

The fire in my belly is raging on today
if I ignore it, it’ll only get worse
and I don't feel like being nice and kind and happy.

The pain is reaching unbearable heights
there's no extinguishing it right now
and I don't have to apologize to no one.

I am not responsible for others, only myself
I cannot and do not have to be perfect
and it's not all my fault.

I am a human being with feelings and
I deserve more that I am getting
regardless of whether you want me here or not.

I'm doing my very best
and if that's not good enough
then tough, there is nothing else I can or have to do.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey ... RU Okay? -

1:56 PM  
Blogger punkindunkin said...

Today I am.

The rest of this week, I was not.

I'm too empathetic sometimes and if something isn't right with someone I care about, it makes it hard for me to function until I can resolve the problem. I was fighting feeling the anger the first half of the week because I’ve had anger issues in the distant past. I can yell and scream and bite with the best of them. But I know that there is a better way to handle things. I just assumed once I let the anger take over, I would be put right back into that scary state once again. Instead, and much to my surprise, the fury has propelled me into action when I was unable to function the first 3 days this week.

I won’t go as far as to say that I’m grateful to have felt the anger. But I will say that is the most productive way to use frustration and rage and I’m impressed that I’ve made strides in this area in my life.

2:17 PM  

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