What is it About a Broken Heart That Brings Out the Absolute Worst Clichés?!?

I don't feel like talking to anyone right now because I keep hearing all the pat responses that people feel obligated to say when someone's heart is crushed:

Love will come when you least expect it

You must love yourself before anyone else will

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I so totally disagree with this one. It isn't all that bad to have never loved at all. You won't know what you're missing!

Time heals all wounds

But only after it pours gallons of salt in first.

Every storm cloud has a silver lining

And that's something to look forward to after you've been electrocuted by lightning?

There are plenty of other fish in the sea

That which does not kill us makes us stronger

Tomorrow is a new day

...To wake up and remember all over again why you're so depressed in the first place!

Some day your prince will come/ You’ll find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

But how many leprechauns do I have to kiss first?

Live and learn

And get bitten in the ass over and over and over again...

Look before you leap

Love is blind

And deaf. And dumb. Perhaps even profoundly retarded.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles

You are better off without them

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Can I add vodka to my lemonade? Actually, can I just skip the lemonade part all together and go straight for the vodka?

You made your bed, now you have to lay in it.

You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t

Ain't dat da truth!

So if I seem a bit withdrawn, it's not because I don't want to talk to you. It's really because I don't want to hear the same advice over and over again. I'm hurting. I’m depressed. It sucks. And the dopey clichés just don't help at the moment. Don’t take it personally.